Bringing up children is not only a matter of love and being a nice parent. Extreme love and patience can actually be harmful for the child, especially if the child is aggressive, attention-seeking and rowdy. There is a need to discipline children after a certain age and sometimes a stern attitude may be required.

Children decode verbal and non-verbal signals in various ways. They also express their feelings in different ways. Children with a passive temperament are likely to withdraw, behave indifferently or indulge in self destructive activities if they are hurt. On the other hand, active and impulsive children are more prone to indulge in aggressive and sensation seeking activities.

While active children are more susceptible to aggressive behavior, absence of proper of nurturing is likely to bring forth the characteristic more strongly. There are certain things that you have to learn to avoid while nurturing children, especially active children.

Verbal as well as non-verbal messages or cues play an important role in conveying to children that certain behaviors are not acceptable. In families where these are missing, both parent and child tend to hide their frustrations. Ultimately, this leads to parents meting out physical punishment which further aggravates the aggressive behaviors in children.

Children usually tend to give out signals when they are up to mischief. This may be in the shape of roughish looks, stamping of feet, a clenched fist or simply a scowl. A warning look from you or a simple statement that an anticipated action is not allowed should be enough make them back off. An active child who cannot resist impulsive behavior will at least give you some warning of what is coming next. This is the time for you to assert yourself more strongly.

Consistency is another thing that you should keep in mind while handling assertive children who get angry quickly. Parents do not like to be nasty to their kids but being nice to them all the time may not be the best thing that you can do for your child. Exploding suddenly when your tolerance level is crossed can leave the child perplexed and confused.

If you have to check a particular behavior, make sure that you do it every time you see your child about to indulge in it. And most importantly, do not feel guilty about scolding your child. Remember that your interactions you’re your children provides an important feedback that will eventually veer them away from sensation seeking and impulsive behaviors. Such a change in impulsive behavior will also increase concentration.

Aggression eventually affects child concentration because aggressive behavior and anger leaves the child with a lower capacity to focus on anything else. Lack of parent-child interactions and an inconsistency in behavior can lead to confusion and misinterpretation.

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My 4 yr old son was having a hard time in preschool. He would get very agressive with both students and teachers, and even with us. He had this explosive, impulsive behavior that was just too much. Although the school tried their best they just couldn’t get him under control. In the end he was asked to leave.

We tried seeing several different child psychiatrists looking for an answer and all came up with the same conclusion: He has ADHD and needs medication. There was no way I could put my 4 yr old on ritalin and the like. I just felt that there had to be another option. I did a search on the web and the very first site that I went to was here. I read all the testimonials and started to feel that there were others like us who were going through the very same thing.

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Reference:

http://life.famil...ggression/40420.html

Originally posted 2009-01-26 14:08:01.

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