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There is an old Buddhist fable that goes like this. A bereaved person approached Buddha, the founder of Buddhism for curing his grief. The sage asked the person to bring an item from a house that has never visited by death. The person knocked at every house only to be told the obvious €“ that there has been a death in the house at some point in time.
The truth that was told was always accompanies by tales of grief. Buddha thus established and made it subtly known to the bereaved person that death is the ultimate reality of life and that anyone who takes birth must die one day. Maybe it was an obvious statement that was retold but in spite of the fact that we all know this we are unable to control our grief when someone close to us dies.
The only proper solution to grief is complete resolution. It may take some time to get out of the state of depressed feelings but proper resolution of grief is necessary to resume normal social duties. It requires an understanding of the natural process of grief and a determination to get out of it without damage to your physical and mental health.
The various stages of grief – shock, disbelief, reaction, acceptance and recovery are natural and most of the times people complete the process on their own. But there are times when people get stuck in a specific stage and cannot come out of it. Grief that is not resolved, ultimately affects overall physiological and emotional health and can be fairly detrimental to overall wellness.
We can either let grief destroy us or triumph over it. Even though grief is not a mental disorder, bereavement can cause extreme emotional distress and is a very disruptive experience. The outline of overcoming grief is as under:
* The primary step is to acknowledge the loss. Remember that all defense mechanisms like anger, frustration, blaming, defiance and denial are lies that you tell yourself. See grief as a reality.
* You have the right to grieve. There is nothing to feel guilty about it. Cry if you want to and let the feelings of sadness and sorrow flow out of your system. Remember that if you do not cry your body will.
* Look forward to life. Life must go on and it cannot be stopped. It is upon you to shape your future regardless of your loss.
* Express your grief and share your feelings with a friend in whom you can confide.
* Let positive thoughts flow. Perhaps the most effective way of overcoming grief is to shed negativity. If you have to score a victory over grief you have to stop delving upon negative consequence of events. Making regular positive affirmations can help a lot in attaining a positive frame of mind.
Denial of grief and the use of drugs to resolve grief is the worst thing that you can do. Always keep in mind that adverse situations are experiences from which you can learn a lot and should be allowed to overpower you.
Originally posted 2008-10-14 11:02:29.
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